Before i'm going to write this blog, i tink of my ex, started to cry again... Sigh... I dunno y, the more i tink of him, i'll be more sad, or is it i still cant get over him?? I dunno... J told me i can only get over him if i won't cry anymore when talkin or tinkin about the past... Sigh...
He sms me to ask is there any chances to patch back, if yes, then he'll tell me the real reason of breakup... Smses as belows:
Ex: If there's a chance that we can get back together, will u wan?
Ex: If yes, i'll tell u the real reason i left u in the first place.. If no, then never mind..
Me: Wat u're trying to do? I already realised that our r/s already got problems, n u knew it before me, i really need to reconsider everything before i can answer u, u tell me the reason first, sigh..
Ex: I ran into some problem, need $ urgently, then did something wrong (i dun wish to write out, it's quite personal), i really dunno how to face u... not worthy of u...
Joice: If got problem, y u cant ask help from us?from ur family?y u always tink urself can settle everything!!u know u hurt me very deeply or not, u so cruel to me, now whenever i tink of u, i only will feel sad n hurt, i knew u got problem, but u chose to hide it from me, i tried to ask u out, but u asked me to let go, when i've already let go, u come back n told me all tis, wat u wan me to do??If tat time u tell me all tis, i sure will go back to u, but my heart now dun wish me to go back, how not to worry if u repeat tis to me again, its broken, i dunno, pls let me calm down..
Ex: Some probs cant let them know, is not i dun trust u, but i prefer to settle myself... But at least u are clearer what's happening, thou it won't make u feel better.. I'm sorry.. I really regretted.. But if ur heart tells u not to, mayb u really feel life is better without me.. Anyway, pls take care of urself...
I never reply him after tat... Cried for the afternoon in office again... I feel tat he's waiting for me to return back to him, but i'm not tat joice who will wait for him forever & go back to him if he want to... Sigh.. I was supposed to meet J on that night, already prepared my present - a collectible sports car cum transformer model, but then Jess asked me not to meet him by sendin tis msg, hee...
Me: Erm, I cant meet u tonite liao, some things to settle regardin my ex, i need to tink thru things, meet u another day perhaps...
Then, he immediately called me after seeing tis msg, haha... He say he worry about me la, dunno wat happened to me, hee... We chatted for a while, he really very funny ler, i keep laughin while talkin to him, he can make me laugh when i'm sad lo... he tot i was going to meet my ex to settle things, but i told him i only need some time to tink la.. Then he asked if i need someone to talk to tonite, so we back to our plan, hehe..
We met at city hall mrt station, he gave me a present again when i c him, i didn't dare to give him my present, haha, he c i'm holdin a paper bag then say wanted to help me carry... We bought some beers & tidbits went to Esplanade roof top, very quiet & dark der, but it's a nice place to chit chat, hehe... He asked me to open his present, i saw it's a Dior perfume, i'm very happy cuz i prefer this brand n wanted to buy, but i didn't try the smell, i tot should be the same smell with my fren's de, but once i reached home n try, it's different, hehe... But still smell ok la.. haha.. He say he yest fetch his customer from airport, so tot of buyin this for me lo... Then i told him some people will pantang about perfume as a present, cuz it's like will affect the r/s, then he say " huh.... i tot only shoes, like tat many things cant buy liao ler..." haha.... We chatted alot about many things, as usual, feel very comfortable & happy to talk everything with him... hee... I went to toilet sometimes, then after i comin back, he took out my present & say wat i buy, haha... I say it's a present for him since 4 yrs never meet liao...
J:" Erm, y u will buy this?
Me:" Cuz i only know u like sports car ma, so jus bought it lo, u dun wan ar?Ok lo, i take back.. (I grabbed back the paper bag)
J:"Who say dun wan? Whatever u buy, i oso will like it de la.." (he grabbed back again) haha
We chatted until 11pm... We took mrt to amk... Inside the train, he stand super close to me, we face to face each other, he keep lookin at my eyes, oh my god! i cant stand him, i didn't dare to look at his eyes, i'm super shy... He say i look very attractive, keep askin me dun be so cute can or not... haha... I told him pls dun be so 口花花, then he say he's very lazy de, he only will do this to those he's interested, haha..
Me:" Erm, Jess's bday is this fri, she asked each of us to bring 1 partner along, so u wanna come?
J:" Ya.. sure.."
Me:" Oh... but u become cai's partner can? hehe..."
J:"Wa lao.. pls la..i wanna be ur partner can!"
When i'm almost leaving from bus, he asked me to give him a good nite kiss, i rejected n say :" pls hor, we're only BEST FREN nia! :p wahaha....Purposely kek him... Pls ler, now i'm slowing down everything, he seems like gan jiong liao... hee... I keep playin with him lo, the most i go back to my ex, u wait for me for another 4 yrs lo... haha.. So now both of us only BEST FREN nia, dun anyhow play jokes in front of us ar... :p
I opened the perfume box & saw 1 slip note inside write:" Pls remember that a painful end is better than the pain without end... Cheer up ;> "
He's such a sweet guy... aiyo.. i feel too sweet for that night liao... hee
I chatted with cai until 2am plus... aiyo... we oso dunno y we got so much things to chat every nite.. haha... I tink i'm going to be crazy soon... I cried so much when we talkin about my ex, then i feel so sweet n happy when talkin about J... After chatting so much, my decision is that i can only let nature take course, continue with this new comer, if my ex comin back, then let's compete lo... haha... Yest Wen ask me that "U wan the red sports car or motorbike? Wa lao... This is not the main concern for me lo... :p Then they named my new r/s as "双J 恋", hehe... Cai's case more funny, MC恋 = Mustafa man + Cai = Mcdonald, wahaha....
